From the Words of Blessed St. Paul to My Heart

No doubt I am going to get the “facts” of this blog entry wrong…mainly because my mind is not nearly as sharp as it used to be. However, I hope that I will be forgiven for that if I at least get the “spirit” of it right!

Today I sat in on our May vestry meeting. I am not a member of the vestry but as a deacon in the church I am allowed seat and voice…just no vote. The meeting started just like most meetings…open with prayer, accept the agenda, accept the minutes of the last meeting, etc. Then came the rector’s report…1) look at the attendance so far this year…pretty standard. However, then came point #2…”the elephant in the room.”

The “elephant” was the fact that our rector is leaving us for another church in northern Indiana. We all knew it, but this was the first time it had been talked about in a group with the rector. Wow…it had to be REAL if he was saying it to everyone! Reality check time.

Now is where my facts get a little fuzzy. Father Dan talked about the choir anthem…how it had always wanted to hear it in this church and how the words came from St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. The anthem was “Grieve Not the Holy Spirit of God.” I hope that I get the verses right…they are from the King James…..

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,
but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may
minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God whereby ye are
sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil
speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:29-32)

Father Dan then said that those words to the Ephesians were the words he wanted to say to us. He went on to talk about the next five weeks and that during that time he hoped that each of individually or in small groups might take the time to have a three-part discussion with him as a way to say goodbye in a healthy, healing way. The three parts would be things we appreciated about him, things we had regrets about (either our regrets about him or our regrets about ourselves in relation to him) and finally, resentments that we might have harbored against him. The hope, I’m sure, is that these exchanges would allow us all to close our relationships by being “kind to on another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”

I, personally, intend to take advantage of that invitation. I have so very many words of appreciation to share with Fr. Dan. I also have some regrets on my part. And, it will be good to get rid of some resentment that I have held on to for too long. This will be an exercise in love and forgiveness and in saying good-bye in a healthy, healing way. I hope that others also take advantage of the invitation.

But, having written all of that, I now come to the real purpose of this entry. While coming home from church, pondering on Paul’s words and Fr. Dan’s invitation, I thought about what an incredible healing could take place in so many relationship if we took the time to engage in this exercise with others on a regular basis. Maybe having two or more days a year that were “Three part discussion” days where we would we would let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from us, with all malice.”

On those special, set aside days, people would go to one another and in love and humility and tell each other the things they appreciated, the regrets that they had and the resentments they had been holding against each other. Forgiveness would be extended, relationships would be healed and life would be better for all of us…and, most importantly, we would “grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.”

Because we are fragile, sinful human beings, this exercise would have to be done much more than once…perhaps quarterly or even monthly (for some, daily or hourly might be in order!!). By doing this, small “hurts” would not be able to grow in large, festering wounds. Hateful words would take continue to hang overhead. Forgiveness would be a regular activity!

Okay, so I sound like I am living in “La La Land.” However, I believe that the Bible is our guidebook for living lives that are pleasing to God. Paul’s words to the church at Ephesus are as important and meaningful to us today as they were then. Every day we participate in “corrupt communications.” On a daily basis we allow “bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor” into our lives.

Oops…looks like I’ve gotten on a soapbox. Maybe its just me. I think I will just make my own “Three Part Discussion” days and try this theory out. I’ll share my findings in some future post!