Smile!

Every now and then we just need to take time out to smile! It is really easy...you just tun the corner of your mouth up and you've got it. Maybe these little critters can show you how!

And now that you been shown how....try those smiles on these!!


I needed to post this to keep a smile on my face! Enjoy!

From the Words of Blessed St. Paul to My Heart

No doubt I am going to get the “facts” of this blog entry wrong…mainly because my mind is not nearly as sharp as it used to be. However, I hope that I will be forgiven for that if I at least get the “spirit” of it right!

Today I sat in on our May vestry meeting. I am not a member of the vestry but as a deacon in the church I am allowed seat and voice…just no vote. The meeting started just like most meetings…open with prayer, accept the agenda, accept the minutes of the last meeting, etc. Then came the rector’s report…1) look at the attendance so far this year…pretty standard. However, then came point #2…”the elephant in the room.”

The “elephant” was the fact that our rector is leaving us for another church in northern Indiana. We all knew it, but this was the first time it had been talked about in a group with the rector. Wow…it had to be REAL if he was saying it to everyone! Reality check time.

Now is where my facts get a little fuzzy. Father Dan talked about the choir anthem…how it had always wanted to hear it in this church and how the words came from St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. The anthem was “Grieve Not the Holy Spirit of God.” I hope that I get the verses right…they are from the King James…..

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,
but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may
minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God whereby ye are
sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil
speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:29-32)

Father Dan then said that those words to the Ephesians were the words he wanted to say to us. He went on to talk about the next five weeks and that during that time he hoped that each of individually or in small groups might take the time to have a three-part discussion with him as a way to say goodbye in a healthy, healing way. The three parts would be things we appreciated about him, things we had regrets about (either our regrets about him or our regrets about ourselves in relation to him) and finally, resentments that we might have harbored against him. The hope, I’m sure, is that these exchanges would allow us all to close our relationships by being “kind to on another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”

I, personally, intend to take advantage of that invitation. I have so very many words of appreciation to share with Fr. Dan. I also have some regrets on my part. And, it will be good to get rid of some resentment that I have held on to for too long. This will be an exercise in love and forgiveness and in saying good-bye in a healthy, healing way. I hope that others also take advantage of the invitation.

But, having written all of that, I now come to the real purpose of this entry. While coming home from church, pondering on Paul’s words and Fr. Dan’s invitation, I thought about what an incredible healing could take place in so many relationship if we took the time to engage in this exercise with others on a regular basis. Maybe having two or more days a year that were “Three part discussion” days where we would we would let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from us, with all malice.”

On those special, set aside days, people would go to one another and in love and humility and tell each other the things they appreciated, the regrets that they had and the resentments they had been holding against each other. Forgiveness would be extended, relationships would be healed and life would be better for all of us…and, most importantly, we would “grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.”

Because we are fragile, sinful human beings, this exercise would have to be done much more than once…perhaps quarterly or even monthly (for some, daily or hourly might be in order!!). By doing this, small “hurts” would not be able to grow in large, festering wounds. Hateful words would take continue to hang overhead. Forgiveness would be a regular activity!

Okay, so I sound like I am living in “La La Land.” However, I believe that the Bible is our guidebook for living lives that are pleasing to God. Paul’s words to the church at Ephesus are as important and meaningful to us today as they were then. Every day we participate in “corrupt communications.” On a daily basis we allow “bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor” into our lives.

Oops…looks like I’ve gotten on a soapbox. Maybe its just me. I think I will just make my own “Three Part Discussion” days and try this theory out. I’ll share my findings in some future post!

Back to Basics

I’ve just returned from a lovely “mini-vacation” with my husband, Bob. We had originally planned this time off to attend my niece’s wedding in Massachusetts. However, we learned a little over a month ago that the wedding has been “postponed” to a later date. We decided to take the time off anyway and go somewhere close “just to get away.” We decided to go to Monterey with our bikes and do some riding along the coast. Timing is everything! We left on Tuesday afternoon just ahead of mail delivery to the members of our church of a letter written by our rector saying that he and his wife are leaving us after many years of faithful service. We already knew what was in the letter. Bob is on the vestry and the vestry was given advance knowledge. As a deacon, I am part of clergy and also knew “the news.”

I have been in various stages of grief depending on the day and the hour. My first feeling was one of sheer horror and fear. How could we possibly function as a church without our beloved Fr. Dan and his precious wife, Brenda (she who is also our beloved choir mistress and organist of the absolutely highest quality!)? How could I possibly function as a deacon without my champion and my mentor? How could life possible go on?
As I sat in the window seat of our incredible room pondering all those grieving questions and looking out at the ocean, I could almost audibly hear God’s voice whispering, “Lee, let’s get back to basics.” I knew it wasn’t Bob because he was continuing his bike ride (after I gave up at 10 miles!). The cleaning lady had already been in our room…no one else was there except God and me. It wasn’t me so it had to be Him!

And just as I had asked those grief filled questions, the Lord came back at me with His own questions. Answering them was a healing balm on my grieving soul.

His first question was “Do you go to church because Fr. Dan is there?” No, Lord, I go because I want to worship you in community with other believers. I want to celebrate the Eucharist and take part in a foretaste of the great feast that awaits us in your kingdom. I want to hear your Word. I want to sing praises to your Name. I go to church because of you!

The second question was “Did you become a deacon because of Fr. Dan and so you could serve with him at the altar? No, Lord, I am a deacon today because you called me to be one. I believe with all my heart that you placed Fr. Dan in my life so that he could be my champion and my mentor…and he was. You called me and he heeded your call to teach me and to “hatch me.” Now I must do the work you have called me to do both in your church and in the world. I must discover, through your Divine Wisdom, the ministry you desire for me. I have been prepared well and while there is much work to be done on me yet, I must trust that you will continue to “grow” me!

As a bereavement counselor I know that the hardest part of grieving is “accepting the reality”…getting your head knowledge and your heart knowledge at the same place. My head knows that Fr. Dan is leaving and that “getting back to the basics” of why I go to church and why I am a deacon is very important. My heart isn’t quite there yet, so I give my heart to the Lord and ask Him to hug it (so that I might see the majesty of all that He is), to dry my tears and to impart that peace that only He can give while the healing continues.

Will I miss Fr. Dan…my priest, my champion, my mentor? Of course I will!! However, I trust with all my heart in his call and in his discernment process. And I trust in the Lord with all my heart to bless all of us…Fr. Dan and Brenda, me, St. Anne’s, and St. John’s as we all follow His will for our lives. And, thanks to the wonders of modern technology and free cell phone long distance, we will never really be more than an email, a text message or a phone call apart!

A line from an old Christian song rings in my ears…”A friend is a friend forever if the Lord is Lord of all.”

Blessed St. Paul Had It Right!

In his first Epistle to the Corinthians Paul says….(KJV)

For as the body is one, and hath many members,
And all the members of that one body,
Being many, are one body: so also is Christ,

For the body is not one member but many.
If the foot shall say, because I am not the hand
I am not of the body; is it therefore
Not if the body?

And if the ear shall say, Because I am not
The eye, I am not of the body; is it
Therefore not of the body?

If the whole body were an eye, where were
The hearing? If the whole body were hearing,
Where were the smelling?

But now hath God set the members everyone of
Them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
(15:12, 14-18)

Since by days at Florida Bible College I have understood what his words meant concerning the church. However, it wasn’t until today that I realized it could also pertain to our own physical body.

Today, I was without the left tip of the index finger on my right hand. Unless you have ever been without that particular part of your body you have no idea how necessary it is to the whole! My index finger has been missing its left tip and has become extremely painful. My middle finger is stressed because it is being used to type letters it never had to before. My entire right hand us miserable because the index finger is in pain and the middle finger is stressed. My right arm is sore because of all of the above. It goes on and on. Obviously it did not please God for us to be without the left tip of our right index finger which is why He gave it to us!!

I was without the tip of my finger because last night while cutting material for a quilt using a rotary cutter (with a fresh blade) I sliced off said tip. It was very dramatic. Blood was everywhere, I was screaming and my husband had no idea what to do. I KNOW that when cutting material I must “stay in the moment.” Last night I was not “in the moment.” Instead, I was thinking about my rector and his leaving the church in a few months. Out of the moment and off with the finger!

Do you know how difficult it is to work the mouse with your right hand when you can’t use your index finger?

Mother's Day

Today is Mother’s Day. It is a day that I am somewhat fearful of because I am not a mother and I do not have a mother.

It wasn’t always so with me. I once was a mother. My only child, my daughter Jennifer Lee Lemmer was born on October 16, 1973. I loved that first Mother’s Day in 1974! Sadly, it was my last time to celebrate. Jennie died on October 16, 2004. It was her first birthday and my 29th birthday.

But I still had a mother. Patricia Lee Rossiter was perhaps not the very best mother in the whole world but she was MY mother so that made her the best with me. I loved her dearly. After a deathbed change of heart to embrace Jesus Christ as her personal Savior, she died on March 3, 1987, just six days after her 61st birthday. I am now older than my mother ever lived to be.

So those two short lived lives have made Mother’s Day very difficult for me, even though Jennie died 33 years ago and my mother died 20 years ago. My heart still yearns and breaks for them and I look forward to the day when we will be reunited at the feet of Jesus.

Eleven years ago I became a stepmother to Bob’s son, Dave, who I fondly call “our son.”
Dave is married now and has made me a grandmother to three beautiful grandchildren; Jacob (5), Karly (3) and Nicholas (8 months.) I love Dave and I love the kids and being “grandma” suits me just fine.

This Mother’s Day started as so many others have with thoughts of Jennie and my mom going through my head. However, today, God reminded me that while being a mother and having a mother are truly important, the most important thing is LOVE!

My dear friend Cyndi has three incredible children. They all give me big hugs when they see me. Today her oldest daughter, Rachel, held my hand while we walked through the church looking for my Prayer Book. This afternoon while at a concert one of her twins, Rebecca, sat on my lap and cuddled with me. The other twin, Jonathan, gave me a big hug when he saw me. I felt incredibly loved today.

God, from His heaven, hugged me today and I was surrounded by the mystery of all that He is. Happy Mother’s Day!

Home Coming

Mousie came home today. While I was at a meeting in Fresno my sweet husband went to pick her up at the crematorium. She is in a little cedar box with a lock and key. Most importantly, she is home.

She came home with a little piece of prose that I would like to share a part of here for any animal lover who happens upon this blog.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to a place

There, there is always food and water and warm spring weather.

The old and frail animals are young again.

Those whom are maimed are made whole again.

They play all day with each other.

I remember with fondness when Mousie was very young the incredible amount of energy she would have as she ran around, jumped on furniture, pounced on her toys and general made a spectacle of herself! We would laugh and laugh at her antics. In the end she was very slow and could no longer run and jump.

It put a big smile on my face to read the above and think of her young again and jumping and running and making a spectacle of herself as she played with my other beloved dogs (Timmy, Peenutz and Scamper [all toy poodles] and Sasha and Tiffany [tiny yorkies])!

Surely that "place" is called heaven. For our dear heavenly Father loves all of His creations. Run and jump to your heart's content, my dear little Mousie!

The Saddest Month Ever

I am a breavement counselor for our local hospice. Part of my job consists of meeting with adults and children in the community who have recently (or not so recently) experienced the death of someone they love. They talk and I listen and sometimes God gives me something encouraging to say to them. Other times I've been known to just cry with them.

A couple of weeks ago two young boys came to see me. They were brothers, ages 14 and 15. Their dad had died when they were very young and their mother had remarried. They loved their step-dad. Their maternal grandmother had died when they were very young also and their grandfather had lived with them their whole remembered lives.

Although the boys were teenagers, they were slight of build and could easily have passed for 11 and 12. One was very quiet and looked so very sad it broke my heart. The other (the younger brother) was the "spokesman" for the two of them.

This is the story they told me.....

Their dog died on March 30th. Their dog had been their constant and faithful companion for almost ten years...most of their life. They were inconsolable. So to make them feel a little better their mom suggested that they spend Saturday night (March 31st) at their cousin's house. They thought that would be a great idea and they went quite happily. On Sunday morning their step-dad called them. Their mom had gone to bed Saturday night and did not wake up Sunday morning. She was dead.

They both told me how brave they had been when their mom died. How they had both been pall bearers at their mom's funeral. They told me how sad they were.

Then they said that their grandfather was very ill and that when their mom died he had seemed to give up on life. They were busy taking care of him to fulfill their mom's promise that she would always take care of him.

They said that this had been the saddest month ever.

Their grandfather died the next day. This was one of those times I just cried.

My Broken Heart

I started out this blog with such enthusiasm and after three entries I kind of fizzled out. I have a lot in my head and heart to say but I find that I am still in deep mourning for my little Mousie. In my paid daytime job I am a grief counselor. However, I find that I have no tender words of consolation from me to me for my broken heart. Someone asked me why I was still sad and I answered "because Mousie is dead." They then asked if I would be said forever because she would be dead forever. I am glad that person is NOT a grief counselor because they would fail miserably in that position!

My husband thinks I am simply missing "a dog" and that "another dog" could fill my empty spot. And although the last thing in the world he wants is "another dog" he is willing to let this happen so that I can be "happy" again. The thing is that I am not simply missing "a dog." I am specifically missing my Mousie. I tell the people in my support groups and the ones I counsel in my office that "grief takes as long as it takes." I guess everyone will just have to wait for a while for me to be "happy."