Another Day, Another Thought!

Turn your face to

the sun and

the shadows fall

behind you.

Maori proverb

A Thought for Today

While cleaning out "stuff" today, I came upon this piece called "The Good Life." I share it today with anyone who happens by. May we all live a "good life."

Do all the good you can,

by all the means you can,

in all the ways you can,

in all the places you can,

at all the times you can,

to all the people you can,

as long as you can.

--Author Unknown

Changing Is a Process

This thought about redesigning my life is going to require some challenges! I must look at my ability to change! (Easier when you are younger; harder when you are older...like me!) Change is going to mean slowing down, making time and space for new or different activities, a change in life style. Am I willing to change.

Scripture tells us that "The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives." (Psalm 37:23). I am convinced that my single most important goal is to live a life that God will delight in! Of this I am sure!

Perhaps this "life redesign" is very much like planting a garden. Planting a garden is a process which takes time and thought if we want it to be beautiful...delightful to the Lord.

Not only will it take time and thought but it will have to include some weeding out of my life! Keep what is good and discard what is not useful. Take a disciplined approach to identifying opportunities for growth...spiritual and otherwise...do something I love!

And, to grow and change I need Light! I must be open to new possibilities, embrace challenges, take risks! Romans 12:2 tell us "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and the perfect will of God." Okay...I'm ready...let the Light in!!

Redesigning My Life

RETHINKING THE LANDSCAPE

Recently we have been doing a lot of remolding in our 33 year old house. This week alone we have added all new windows, a new garage door and new entrance doors to the house and garage. The result is beautiful. We feel like we are in a new home.

This redesigning of our physical area made me think about how this is a perfect time for redesigning my life. I no longer work at a job that takes not only an extraordinary amount of time but my talents also. I am no longer under the kind of stress this that goes along with this type of job. It is time to renew myself.

So I start with some questions. What do I identify as being really important in my life? What are my priorities now? Does my life landscaping need more light, more color, more whatever?

My blog page is now more colorful...has more light...has more postings...a good start!

But what about the inner me? I am now on a search for insight and understanding as I wait upon God to give me discernment in this new undertaking. Watch and wait with me.

A Morning of Great Joy!

This morning Barclee and I changed our usual routine and I cancelled previous plans and she I went to the cemetery. I had read in the paper on Tuesday that her first "mommy" had died and that there was to be a graveside service today at 10:00 a.m. I wasn't sure how anyone would feel about having a dog at the service but my heart told me that we should go anyway.

We arrived about 20 minutes before the service and I walked over to where I could see that people were gathering (I had left Barclee in the car) and asked if this was where the service for MW would be. Several people stared at me strangley and said yes and then one man came up to me and said "is that really you?" It was MW's son, the one who had given Barclee to my care when his mother became unable to care for her. I told him that I had Barclee in the car and would it be okay to bring her to the service.

You would have thought that I said I had the Queen of England in the car! Everyone who heard who I was and who I had with me immediately rushed to my car to see Barclee! MW has been her "mommy" for 4 1/2 years so the entire family of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren knew who Barclee was and apparently loved her dearly.

While I stood in the background during the service, Barclee sat in the front row with the family. It was almost as if she actually knew what was going on and she sat on the son's lap very quietly and properly until the last "Amen."

Tomorrow Barclee is going to have a "play date" with her real birth sister, Molly! The family is so anxious to see "the girl's" together again. After people started leaving, I took Barclee up to the casket and she put her little paw on it and then set her head on her paw.

This morning was one of those joyfully perfect moments ...a time when following my heart was defintely the right thing to do.

Going to the Dentist!

This has been an exciting week! NOT!

I woke up about 2:00 a.m. Saturday morning with a terrible toothache! This is unusual for me since I lost all but 6 of my permanent teeth 42 years ago! That situation is a whole different post...just suffice to say that I seldom get toothaches!

However, this one was a doozer! I wish I knew how our body parts just know when it is a week-end and help is not just around the corner. Now I know that my dear dentist has a 24 hour service but since I am no longer employed that means I no longer have dental insurance and that 24 hour thing is expensive. So, I decided to "tough it out" until Monday morning.

It was a loooong time to Monday morning. The time was spent in various ways which included moaning, tears, sleeping, Vicodin (thank goodness I had some left over from my foot surgery) and in general, being miserable.

Monday came. I called the dentist. I went in immediately. He took one look at me and said that it needed a specialist. It needed an Endodontist! This particular tooth holds one side of my partial and my "dear dentist" said we only had "one chance" to get this right and he would rather have a "professional" do it. So I call the Endodontist that he referred me to and they informed me that their first opening was on Thursday!!!!

So, I said "okay, but I'm driving over to your office now and I want lots of drugs to take until Thursday!" They immediately changed their mind and told me to "come right in!" I did!

I needed a root canal! Goodie! After 500 shots of Novocaine (okay, it wasn't that many but it FELT like that many) the "Endo guy" tells me he is going to drill a little hole through my crown and do the root canal through the hole. That sounds good to me....until I hear those dreaded words "oh no!" "Endo guy" looks at me and says "I have bad news and good news." Like I really want to hear this with my mouth dumb and somebody playing bongos in my head! He say "the bad news is that your tooth has fractured...the good news is that if you have to have a fracture, this is a good one." What he means by a "fracture" is that my tooth has broken off at the gum line with half my tooth in the crown...which is now in his hand...and the other half in my mouth. I failed to see any good news in this development.

Three hours and $860.00 later (I was asked if I wanted to pay "cash or check!) I left "Endo guy" with my broken tooth in a little baggy and my partial in a pink cup and my head throbbing and my mouth looking like something out of a Disney cartoon...a scary cartoon! I head back to "dear dentist" with my little goodies. He looks at them and assures me that we can "do something with this" and I should come in tomorrow when I am feeling better! "Endo guy" told me to go home and take some Ibuprofen and I would feel fine. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Tuesday I go back to "dear dentist" feeling horrible because when the Novocaine wore off I had pain the Ibuprofen never heard of! However, I still had some Vicodin from the foot surgery so I stayed pretty quiet and out of it!

"Dear dentist" tells me he is going to drill a hole in the part of the tooth that is still in my mouth and cement a steel post in there and then drill an absolutely perfectly matching hole in the part of my tooth that is still in the crown and then cement them together and everything will be wonderful! It sounds so easy when they talk about it!

After 500 more shots of Novocaine (really, I think there were that many!) and 2 hours in the dentist chair, I have a tooth in my mouth and I have my partial attached to it! Of course I can't feel a thing...so everything feels fine...even though, once again, I have a pretty peculiar look! This time "dear dentist" gives me a prescription for an antibiotic AND a prescription for Vicodin which he encourages me to take liberally so that I can get on top of the pain...which is sure to come after the Novocaine wears off! I do love "dear dentist!" And, he makes an appointment for this morning so that he can "check things out."

I live on Vicodin yesterday and this morning I go to see "dear dentist" to "check things out." He thinks things look great and we will let this all heal and then he will have to make a new partial so that there won't be so much pressure on poor broken toothies. Oops, I forgot to mention...we had this same scenario on the other tooth 4 years ago! We made an appointment for October 6th because he feels my bone pain will be under control by then! I didn't mention that this was only September 17th because he gave me another prescription for Vicodin! You don't want to bite the hand that feeds you!

Okay, I feel so much better now sharing my wonderful adventure on my blog. I think it is time to take an antibiotic and a Vicodin...hope this stuff isn't too addicting! But really, I AM feeling so much better but that's only because I haven't even asked "dear dentist" about his bill yet!

A New "Look" for a New Outlook!

Losing my job and my subsequent "retirement" has given me a fresh new outlook on life! To go along with this new outlook I have decided to "spruce up" my Blog too! My special friend Miz Minka has offered to help me and has been really patient with me! (Thank you, MM!) Right now it is still a "work in progress" but I think I am going in the right direction.

I've realized some important things during these past three months. First of all, I am realizing that as important as "money" seems to be in our daily lives...it really isn't important at all. Or perhaps I should rephrase that to say...it isn't important enough to stress about. There are so many valuable and wonderful things in my life where money doesn't even play a part. My 3 grandchildren, my Barclee, my husband, my friends (and even my acquaintances!), and MOST of all...God! Now that I am not concerned about spending money (mainly because I don't have any now!) I can concentrate on these much more important "gifts" in my life!

Second, I am realizing the incredible value of having time...time that isn't taken up with anything...time that can be spent enjoying life and all that it offers! While I do have some things "scheduled" now (like my daily yoga classes) for the most part I am now very flexible. Some days I am amazed at how much I get accomplished and other days I am amazed at how swiftly the day passed and discover I have "done" very little. Ahhhh!

Third, I am realizing the how perfectly wonderful silence can be! It seems that all of my days for years and years and years have been filled with "noise." Our house is quiet. I find myself spending hours in my quilt room with nothing filling the quiet except my own breathing...and yoga classes are teaching me how to breathe in a whole new energizing way! I love the silence. I have three beautiful Icons in my quilt room and find that in the silence and peace of the room that I can easily lose myself in prayer through the Icons for hours...where before I often had a hard time praying continually for 15 minutes.

I am continually amazed at how gently and generously our Lord takes care of each of us. When I lost my job, the people involved truly meant it for "evil." But God took their actions and made it something beautiful in my life. He loves us so completely and He is so concerned about whatever makes us unhappy. I am grateful to Him for my new outlook!

Where Were You?

Tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of "9/11" as September 11, 2001 has come to be known. So much has been written about this day that there are almost no more words to say. However, today, a friend sent me the following piece of prose that I felt compelled to share with everyone I knew and cared about...which I did in an email. However, I share it here also with the hope that someone new might stop by and read it. May God use it to touch your heart in a new and gentle way. God bless!

****MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL*****

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when awoman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said.'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls.I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan. I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you . But someday your journey will end. And Iwill be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God

Stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life.

the Joy of a New Language!!

About three weeks ago I started to participate in an activity that required learning a new language! Although not a "language" from a foreign country...it was certainly new to me! Now the words are all in the dictionary but I have learned them to mean a whole bunch of different things.

My new favorite in "down dog!" If I were making a dictionary I would put in a picture like this:

I would never have imagined that my body could do this but since starting yoga classes I can actually put myself in this position without a problem. I also "enjoy" the "cat to cow" position as I exhale on "cat" and inhale on "cow" What fun!

Of course I cannot deny that by the end of the hour, my most favorite position is "corpse!"

Going to a yoga class every morning has really helped change my outlook on life and on myself. I no longer care what people think about me! There is no "competition" in the class. If you can't do a pose the exact way the instructor does it then you just "adjust" and do it in a way that is comfortable for you. I don't even care if I am (obviously) the "heaviest" person in the class. I do what I can do and it is good for me!

I have even felt my spine grow over these 3 weeks! I can do "Monkey" and "Warrior One" and " Warrior Two" and "Sunflower" and "Half Moon" and Monday I even learned "Flamingo!" Now none of this may sound like a "new language" to anyone reading this but trust me, none of those words mean what you might think they mean when you are in a yoga class!

I have come to realize that I can probably do whatever I set my mind to do. Trying for "down dog" has taught me that. During the first week of class I just looked at the other students and wondered how in the world they ever got in that pose and stayed there...'cuz I knew I never could! And then, during the second week... I just did it. Like "Nike!" Wow, did I feel good about myself!

If you have wandered on this post and have never tried yoga I strongly suggest you give it a try! If nothing else, it will teach you how to breathe and to relax...even if you never do a "down dog!!"

Friendship

Over the last three months I have learned several new lessons about friendship. Some of them have been pretty hard to take and others have really lifted my spirits.

Perhaps I should start with my dismissal from the job and I have held and loved for the past 10 years. ON my 10th anniversary (6/4/08) I was fired. I had no idea it was coming. One minute I was counseling with someone whose husband had recently died and within 20 minutes I was gone...banished from the building...told not to return for my belongs (I had a lot of stuff there after 10 years) until the "investigation" had taken place and I was called.

My first lesson on friendship came rapidly...my "roommate," the incredible person I had shared an office with for many years immediately called my cell phone and said she would meet me for lunch. She came to the restaurant and said all the wonderful things a friend should say at that time and in that situation. She definitely made me feel better. She fulfilled the saying "a friend in need is a friend indeed!"

Life is kind of a blur after that. I was called the next day, told the "investigation" was completed and told to come into the office at 2:00 p.m. In I went at 2:00 p.m. along with my dear husband and an attorney that I had never met...but had called in desperation. It was all over in a matter of minutes. Sign here....sign here...sign here...here is your final check...turn in your ID badge...and, by the way, we are firing you because we understand you had a dog at one of the support groups. If you think you just read that line incorrectly please know that you did not. That was my demise after 10 years of working many, many hours, facilitating sometimes 3 support groups in the evening every week and working many Saturdays! (By the way, I did have Barclee at a group so I was "guilty as charged!")

Now comes my second lesson about friendship...beside being my lover, my husband, my confident...my husband, Bob, is even more importantly my dearest and best friend. he was (and is) incredible! He said terrible things about my employer (yes!), said wonderful things about me (yes!) and assured me that everything was going to be just find and that in time we would look on this time as just a little "bump in the road!" He said lots more wonderful things too but they all proved to me beyond a doubt that I married a pretty terrific guy!

And therein ended my positive lessons about friendship...at least from people I thought were friends. One person that I thought I was very close to did, in fact, call and tell me that she couldn't talk to me because no one was to have contact with me from "there." I never heard from her again.

People I had lunched with, stayed late with, helped out and who had helped me out...they were no where to be seen...or heard from. I guess they proved the saying "out of sight, out of mind!" I still haven't heard from them...3 months later...and my bet is that I never will again.

However, I have a "new friend" that I met in March through my blog. She lives in Virginia and I have never met here...but she wrote some of the most encouraging emails that I have ever received and her words truly helped heal my heart. She proved the saying "there is no distance too great between friends for friendship gives wings to the heart!"

So, I think that at the age of "almost 63" I have finally understood the difference between "friends" and "acquaintances." I have a long list of "acquaintances" (although the list is getting much smaller!) and a very short...but very meaningful...list of people I can truly call "friends." I am grateful for the lesson. I am grateful for those who cared enough about me to console me and to stand by me and I don't care if my friend list is shorter than I ever imagined.

And, perhaps most importantly, I have learned, in a whole new way, the kind of friend I need to be to others. With God's help I hope I can live up to this lesson!

And by the way...Bob was right. Things have worked out in a very positive way! God is good...all the time!

World's Worst Blogger

No doubt I could win the award for the World's Worst Blogger! I just noticed that I have been left off the list on one of my favorite blogs to read. My last blog was in April.

I think the problem is that I forgot why I was writing. No one...well hardly anyone...ever visited my blog and so I kind of thought "why bother." But the truth is that I started this blog so that I could express myself in some written form other than writing in a journal. Of course I also started it because I was grieving the death of my sweet little Yorkie, Mouse, who died on April 16, 2007.

Now I have just experienced the death of my last Yorkie...Christy died on August 12, 2008. She was just a couple of week shy of her 17th birthday...which is today! I am passionately in the journey of grieving for her. At the end she didn't have much quality of life but she still seemed to want to go on and so I have her that option...until she couldn't anymore.

The house is not empty of puppy love. Barclee, our Bichon Frise, came to live with us in early December. She turned 5 on March 1st. She seemed to be more than content to just have a loving home and stay in the background of Christy. Now Christy is gone and Barclee is trying to get used to be in the limelight! She still refuses to eat dinner where Christy used to...which was in the kitchen. No, she wants to eat in the living room where we fed her from her first day here on Audubon Drive! She is very sweet and I truly do love her dearly...but I must admit that I miss those little Yorkies very, very much.

So much has happened to me that requires writing about in order not to carry it around with me. So, I am going to try this again. Only this time I will keep in mind that I am writing just for me and if anyone should come by and visit, well may God bless them...and if no one comes that is just fine too.

But now I have to go and finish a sermon for church tomorrow. Must keep priorities straight!

Until later......