Friendship

Over the last three months I have learned several new lessons about friendship. Some of them have been pretty hard to take and others have really lifted my spirits.

Perhaps I should start with my dismissal from the job and I have held and loved for the past 10 years. ON my 10th anniversary (6/4/08) I was fired. I had no idea it was coming. One minute I was counseling with someone whose husband had recently died and within 20 minutes I was gone...banished from the building...told not to return for my belongs (I had a lot of stuff there after 10 years) until the "investigation" had taken place and I was called.

My first lesson on friendship came rapidly...my "roommate," the incredible person I had shared an office with for many years immediately called my cell phone and said she would meet me for lunch. She came to the restaurant and said all the wonderful things a friend should say at that time and in that situation. She definitely made me feel better. She fulfilled the saying "a friend in need is a friend indeed!"

Life is kind of a blur after that. I was called the next day, told the "investigation" was completed and told to come into the office at 2:00 p.m. In I went at 2:00 p.m. along with my dear husband and an attorney that I had never met...but had called in desperation. It was all over in a matter of minutes. Sign here....sign here...sign here...here is your final check...turn in your ID badge...and, by the way, we are firing you because we understand you had a dog at one of the support groups. If you think you just read that line incorrectly please know that you did not. That was my demise after 10 years of working many, many hours, facilitating sometimes 3 support groups in the evening every week and working many Saturdays! (By the way, I did have Barclee at a group so I was "guilty as charged!")

Now comes my second lesson about friendship...beside being my lover, my husband, my confident...my husband, Bob, is even more importantly my dearest and best friend. he was (and is) incredible! He said terrible things about my employer (yes!), said wonderful things about me (yes!) and assured me that everything was going to be just find and that in time we would look on this time as just a little "bump in the road!" He said lots more wonderful things too but they all proved to me beyond a doubt that I married a pretty terrific guy!

And therein ended my positive lessons about friendship...at least from people I thought were friends. One person that I thought I was very close to did, in fact, call and tell me that she couldn't talk to me because no one was to have contact with me from "there." I never heard from her again.

People I had lunched with, stayed late with, helped out and who had helped me out...they were no where to be seen...or heard from. I guess they proved the saying "out of sight, out of mind!" I still haven't heard from them...3 months later...and my bet is that I never will again.

However, I have a "new friend" that I met in March through my blog. She lives in Virginia and I have never met here...but she wrote some of the most encouraging emails that I have ever received and her words truly helped heal my heart. She proved the saying "there is no distance too great between friends for friendship gives wings to the heart!"

So, I think that at the age of "almost 63" I have finally understood the difference between "friends" and "acquaintances." I have a long list of "acquaintances" (although the list is getting much smaller!) and a very short...but very meaningful...list of people I can truly call "friends." I am grateful for the lesson. I am grateful for those who cared enough about me to console me and to stand by me and I don't care if my friend list is shorter than I ever imagined.

And, perhaps most importantly, I have learned, in a whole new way, the kind of friend I need to be to others. With God's help I hope I can live up to this lesson!

And by the way...Bob was right. Things have worked out in a very positive way! God is good...all the time!

A Special Day

Today is only just a little half over (by the clock) and it has already been an incredible special day.

I have had the opportunity to see someone I love in a way I have never seen them before and now feel closer than I ever had. I have also been reminded in a gentle and loving way of what REAL friendship between those who call Jesus "the Christ, the son of the living God" looks like! I consider both the opportunity and the reminder as "love gifts" from the Lord today! Although the gifts concern two different people they are intrically connected!

The "opportunity" concerns someone I have known and loved for the past 10 years. I have known this person to be quite "cerebral" and not one to deal much in feelings because, you know, "feelings" can mess you up! Today, this person shared feelings with me that showed me a tender side of them...a gentleness and openness that I wasn't sure existed but am so delighted to know that it does! It was a lovely "love gift."

The "reminder" concerns someone that I have known and loved for a shorter but equally wonderful time. I call this person "my dear friend" because they bring light and laughter and kind counsel into my life. Today, this friend reminded me of what "friendship" is really about. It is about loving and caring enough about someone to tell them the truth even if they don't think they want to hear it. It is about have the freedom to be truly be honest with someone and knowing that it is perfectly "OK."

And even more than that, a true friend can help you see the "forest" when all you can see is the one tree you are standing under. They can also help you see your "real" self even though you try to hide it! Today, "my dear friend" helped me to see the beauty and the value of my first "love gift" and all of the above. That was my second "love gift" from the Lord.

Previously I wrote about the joy of thinking about the fact that God needs no other reason to love us other than we belong to Him! And because we belong to Him, like any loving Father, He gives us special little "love gifts" when we least expect them! I am so grateful for his gifts of love to me today.

Praise be God forever and ever and ever!!