Letting Go...and Cherishing

Last weekend I embarked on a horrific project...getting rid of "stuff" that I have been saving for years and years. It is part of my overall plan to live more simply. This means not just changing some things about me personally but also changing my surroundings.

My dear husband was away for the weekend so I was left in peace and quiet to do what needed to be done. I began by taking everything off the shelves and off the floor of "my" closet as I call the closet in our "computer room."

The "stuff" I found! Apparently I had cut out an kept every newspaper article, every magazine article, every "anything" that had been printed about Princess Diana after her death. All of these things were tucked inside a scrapbook so one might assume that I truly meant to make a scrapbook with all these goodies. I sat on the floor and read every single article...and I remembered where I was when I heard she had died (San Francisco) and how I felt (very sad) that such a terrible accident had taken the life of someone so young. I remembered our trip to England and our visit to her ancestral home in Althrop. I cherished all those memories...and then I threw away every single piece of paper.

Ditto with all the magazine and newspaper articles about Michael Jordan's return to the Chicago Bulls! Of course when I started that collection I was still in Chicago and a huge Bulls fan! I remembered the one game I actually got to see at the Stadium where the Bulls won and Jordan seemed bigger than life to me. I was so excited to be "in his presence!" I remembered all those memories...and then I threw away every single piece of paper.

Ditto with so many other things saved and cherished as "important" but no longer had much meaning.

Then I came to "the box." This was the box that had all the memories of my late husband, Chuck stored in it. There were love letters...hundred of them. There were all the condolence cards that were sent when he died. I read every single one of them and realized that I didn't even know most of those people any more. I found his wallet and his Jewel Foods (our local grocery store) check cashing card, his voters registration card and all of his medical cards which at one time had seemed to important to save...almost as if someday he might need them again. There was so much stuff in "the box" (which was quite large by the way) that it took me an entire day to read every single thing.

Some of the things made me laugh and some made me cry. The memories they brought back were bittersweet and I could feel my heart tingle...and then I threw every single thing away.

Why did I do all this? First of all, I don't want to leave these things for anyone else to have to take care of after I am gone. Second, I truly am trying to simply my life both internally and externally. But most of all I was able to get rid of all of this memorabilia because it going through everything I realized that everything was already cemented in my heart and I didn't need the external trappings to visit those memories. I only needed to look within my heart and they were all there...forever!

And so I cherish all of them...most especially the ones about Chuck...and I am grateful for the incredible gift of memory and love that the Lord has given us. I have let go...but I will always continue to cherish.

A New "Look" for a New Outlook!

Losing my job and my subsequent "retirement" has given me a fresh new outlook on life! To go along with this new outlook I have decided to "spruce up" my Blog too! My special friend Miz Minka has offered to help me and has been really patient with me! (Thank you, MM!) Right now it is still a "work in progress" but I think I am going in the right direction.

I've realized some important things during these past three months. First of all, I am realizing that as important as "money" seems to be in our daily lives...it really isn't important at all. Or perhaps I should rephrase that to say...it isn't important enough to stress about. There are so many valuable and wonderful things in my life where money doesn't even play a part. My 3 grandchildren, my Barclee, my husband, my friends (and even my acquaintances!), and MOST of all...God! Now that I am not concerned about spending money (mainly because I don't have any now!) I can concentrate on these much more important "gifts" in my life!

Second, I am realizing the incredible value of having time...time that isn't taken up with anything...time that can be spent enjoying life and all that it offers! While I do have some things "scheduled" now (like my daily yoga classes) for the most part I am now very flexible. Some days I am amazed at how much I get accomplished and other days I am amazed at how swiftly the day passed and discover I have "done" very little. Ahhhh!

Third, I am realizing the how perfectly wonderful silence can be! It seems that all of my days for years and years and years have been filled with "noise." Our house is quiet. I find myself spending hours in my quilt room with nothing filling the quiet except my own breathing...and yoga classes are teaching me how to breathe in a whole new energizing way! I love the silence. I have three beautiful Icons in my quilt room and find that in the silence and peace of the room that I can easily lose myself in prayer through the Icons for hours...where before I often had a hard time praying continually for 15 minutes.

I am continually amazed at how gently and generously our Lord takes care of each of us. When I lost my job, the people involved truly meant it for "evil." But God took their actions and made it something beautiful in my life. He loves us so completely and He is so concerned about whatever makes us unhappy. I am grateful to Him for my new outlook!