Happiness for My Dear Friend, B!

There are times in our lives when our happiness comes from the happiness of others! Yesterday was one of those times. I have a dear and wonderful friend, B. B was my very first friend when I moved to California...she was also my first boss.

When I first met B. I thought she was just about the "neatest" person I had met in a long time. Just a little younger than me, she was a "take charge" person who was the Receivables Manger at a substantially large insurance company. I was fortunate that she hired me as her assistant manager. We worked well together and the more I got to know her the better I liked her.

As people do when they are getting to know one another we shared our "stories" of our lives and loves. My husband and I were married less than a year at that time. B has a "steady." I didn't like her guy...I thought she deserved SO much better...but it was her life, not mine.

We both lost our jobs at the same time. The substantially large insurance company was purchased by a larger substantial insurance company and our jobs went to the lovely state of Georgia where neither one of us was much inclined to want to go! I only lost an 8 months job but B lost a 16 year job.

We got new jobs and then other new jobs and we have continued to keep in touch, always enjoying our times together. She got a new guy...also not worthy of her and then kind of gave up on any guy at all! I learned how to quilt and then taught her how to quilt and we became quilting buddies as well as friends.

Life took a lot of twists and turns for both of us. When I lost my job in June she was incredibly supportive. She has always had the knack for making me feel good about myself when I was really down on myself. She probably doesn't even realize that!

Now to the happiness part...B has a new guy! He isn't just a "new guy"... I think he is "the" guy. Someone who treats her "like a lady" and who is actually somewhat deserving of the special, special person that she is. Yesterday she shared with me her recent vacation/cruise with Mr. Happiness. We only exchanged emails...but hers was bubbly and happy...I could feel it as I read. And that happiness made me incredibly happy...even happier than if all the nice (and strange!) things had happened to me.

I think this is what loving friendship is all about. Feeling incredibly happy because someone you love dearly is incredibly happy. It is really a GREAT feeling! Much happiness always, B! I love you!

Letting Go...and Cherishing

Last weekend I embarked on a horrific project...getting rid of "stuff" that I have been saving for years and years. It is part of my overall plan to live more simply. This means not just changing some things about me personally but also changing my surroundings.

My dear husband was away for the weekend so I was left in peace and quiet to do what needed to be done. I began by taking everything off the shelves and off the floor of "my" closet as I call the closet in our "computer room."

The "stuff" I found! Apparently I had cut out an kept every newspaper article, every magazine article, every "anything" that had been printed about Princess Diana after her death. All of these things were tucked inside a scrapbook so one might assume that I truly meant to make a scrapbook with all these goodies. I sat on the floor and read every single article...and I remembered where I was when I heard she had died (San Francisco) and how I felt (very sad) that such a terrible accident had taken the life of someone so young. I remembered our trip to England and our visit to her ancestral home in Althrop. I cherished all those memories...and then I threw away every single piece of paper.

Ditto with all the magazine and newspaper articles about Michael Jordan's return to the Chicago Bulls! Of course when I started that collection I was still in Chicago and a huge Bulls fan! I remembered the one game I actually got to see at the Stadium where the Bulls won and Jordan seemed bigger than life to me. I was so excited to be "in his presence!" I remembered all those memories...and then I threw away every single piece of paper.

Ditto with so many other things saved and cherished as "important" but no longer had much meaning.

Then I came to "the box." This was the box that had all the memories of my late husband, Chuck stored in it. There were love letters...hundred of them. There were all the condolence cards that were sent when he died. I read every single one of them and realized that I didn't even know most of those people any more. I found his wallet and his Jewel Foods (our local grocery store) check cashing card, his voters registration card and all of his medical cards which at one time had seemed to important to save...almost as if someday he might need them again. There was so much stuff in "the box" (which was quite large by the way) that it took me an entire day to read every single thing.

Some of the things made me laugh and some made me cry. The memories they brought back were bittersweet and I could feel my heart tingle...and then I threw every single thing away.

Why did I do all this? First of all, I don't want to leave these things for anyone else to have to take care of after I am gone. Second, I truly am trying to simply my life both internally and externally. But most of all I was able to get rid of all of this memorabilia because it going through everything I realized that everything was already cemented in my heart and I didn't need the external trappings to visit those memories. I only needed to look within my heart and they were all there...forever!

And so I cherish all of them...most especially the ones about Chuck...and I am grateful for the incredible gift of memory and love that the Lord has given us. I have let go...but I will always continue to cherish.